“I’m so stressed.” “ I can’t seem to relax.” “If only my boss were different I could enjoy work more.” “”I never have time for myself.”
Do any of these sound familiar? Our lives are so fast paced these days, but fortunately there are many ways to reduce stress in only a few minutes a day.
Remember to breathe deeply throughout the day. When you’re stressed, breathing becomes shallow and your body isn’t getting the oxygen it needs to operate effectively. Practice some deep breathing right now. Focus on bringing air all the way into our lungs so that your abdomen expands. Continue breathing in so you expand the top part of your lungs as well. Then slowly breathe out. Try this several times, letting your neck, shoulders, and back relax. To remind yourself to breathe deeply, post reminders at your desk, on the refrigerator, and on your bathroom mirror! Author Andrew Weil, M.D., says that conscious breathing is the MOST important thing you can do for your health!
Do your best to focus in the NOW, rather than on regrets from the past or fears about the future. Ruminating about things that you can’t change in the past or the unknowns of the future sap your energy for this moment. If you find yourself worrying about something, bring your attention to a feature of your environment, like a flower, or the sounds around you. Take a few deep breaths and tell yourself, “focus now.”
Acknowledge your own needs and your own dreams. Women have traditionally been rewarded for taking care of everyone else, but it serves no one if you only focus on others. There is a balance you must find between the caretaker role and the “living your own life” role. You might start by just taking the time for a relaxing bubble bath. Or an hour at a beautiful spot in nature. Find creative ways to make time for yourself. Perhaps you can start a babysitting coop in your neighborhood.
Use your mind creatively. If you dwell on negative thoughts like the ones at the beginning of the article, your stress will continue to increase. What you focus on expands. So if you’re telling yourself you can’t relax and you’ll never have time for yourself, you won’t! What is the change you want to experience? Tell yourself about that! “I’m easily learning and incorporating relaxation techniques into my life.” “It’s exciting to be learning to create balance in my life.” Buy a relaxation tape to listen to or go to the library and check out inspirational tapes and listen to them in the car driving to work.
Give up the “if onlys” and the “woulda, coulda, shoulda” thoughts. Accept what’s in your life right now- this doesn’t mean you want it to continue in the same way, but you can stop resisting “what is.” Decide what you want to be different, and begin your changes step by step. Create positive affirmations for your future. (Read my How the Universe Works article.) Be willing to commit to growth and joy rather than being a martyr.
Be willing to love and approve of yourself exactly the way you are right now! Criticizing yourself doesn’t help you change or improve your life. Be willing to be gentle and accepting with yourself, “warts” and all. Don’t try to be Superwoman, just be the best you.
Associate with people who are interested in personal growth. Having positive people around you reinforces your own desire to find more joy in life.
© July, 2002. Patricia J. Crane, Ph.D.
International workshop leader and trainer, speaker, author. Dr. Crane is an expert in the field of human potential. Dr. Crane presents to corporate and community groups on the topics of effective communication skills, stress reduction, and optimum performance. To learn more about bringing Dr. Crane to YOUR people, visit Heart Inspired Presentations
